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So many emotions…

May 31, 2010

Just thought I (Ashleigh) would take a few minutes out of this Monday morning to share a little about what’s been going on around me and in my heart these past few days.

First of all, I’ve been so incredibly overwhelmed with people’s generosity.  Friends, family and even total strangers have basically made adopting this sweet girl even a possibility.  There’s so much about this whole process that just screams the Kingdom of God and our unbelievable support network is one of those things.

Second of all, FREAK OUT.  We are so stinking close to holding this sweet child.  Being basically two weeks away from meeting her does so much in my heart.  Of course I continue to imagine those moments and play out all kind of scenarios to try and be prepared for her response to us.  But the reality is, I have no idea how she will respond and can only ask the Lord to love her through us.  Ask that her heart would be as prepared as possible for all of the changes coming her way.  Not only new parents, but a whole new family, new home, new foods, new language, new sights and smells – can you even imagine??

Another thing that being this close does is really challenge the control freak in me.  With all three of my kids I think I panicked  before they got here thinking that everything had to be perfect when we brought them home.  When the reality is, even if everything was perfect, with 4 kids all it takes is for them to LOOK at a room and it somehow messes itself up.  Poor John, I know his honey-do list grows with every task he completes, but he is so patient to help me feel more settled as we prepare to meet our new daughter.

Adopting an older child (and from another country) is very different than when we brought Jones home.  For one thing, our travel time with Jones was 6 minutes from the door of the Med to our front door.  With Abigail, it’s over 20 hours in the air.  So not only is there is the need to prepare our home for her, but also to prepare for a major international trip with layovers and a long journey back with a preschooler.  With Jones, we gradually added pictures of him to our home as time allowed.  With Abigail, I want her to see her face on our walls as soon as she walks in the door to know that she has been part of the family for as long as we’ve known about her.  With Jones, he didn’t care if is room was put together.  With Abigail, I want her to be excited as soon as she sees the girly room that she and Charis will share.

So we’re in crunch time for sure.  And nesting is very hard to do with three kiddos under foot.  But we’re excited.  Excited to get her space totally ready for her.  Excited to hopefully see some friends in Dubai on a layover there.  Excited to experience Ethiopia and all of its sights, smells, foods and sounds.  Excited to see the home where Abigail has been for the last few months.  Excited to see her face to face and get to hold her.  Excited to spend some time with her in her country for a couple of days.  Excited to get to know her personality and hear her voice.  Excited to get her here to meet her sister and brothers and see her home.  Excited to settle in with her and start a new normal as a family of 6.

And really, that’s the whole point of all of the crazy cleaning, organizing, decorating, and packing that we are in the throes of right now.  To get her home.  To complete our family.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. John Carroll permalink
    May 31, 2010 9:03 am

    I am so excited for this little girl to hav you as her mother. Your heart is so BIG, loving, detailed, and passionate.

    Thanks for being my wife on this adventure.

  2. May 31, 2010 10:04 am

    ahhhhhh i love you guys. little abigail joy could not dream of a more loving new home and incredible, God-fearing parents. i cannot wait to celebrate her with you — for the rest of our lives 🙂

  3. brady permalink
    May 31, 2010 10:37 am

    Well we are so excited to get to see you guys on your final leg of the journey. It is such a blessing to be able to “send you off” on your final leg!!!!

    see you soon

  4. May 31, 2010 10:52 am

    Love it – and love your honesty!

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